The Man Who I Call Earl

I will not say that I regret that past that I was placed
I learned and loved and lost and gained - challenges we all must face
But I need to see where I went wrong, just for peace of mind
You sang me in your morbid song, which left me weak and blind
Please hear me out, while I search for whom I call myself
And when I'm done, these memories, will go back on the shelf
I let myself be drawn in, persuaded by your deem
And the naive cave I'd crawl in, helped strip my self-esteem
I believed in your somewhat efforts to announce and proclaim your care
Yet in the same breath, overlooked as if I were not there
You held me and you hugged me, all while you broke my heart
With a desolating deftness that you mastered like an art
Can't you see the pain you've caused - the tears behind my eyes?
Don't you remember promises and hopes fulfilled with lies?
Left immure and intoxicated by your deficient love
Where was your fatherly image that I'd been dreaming of?
Emotionally drained at the age of nine and ten
You never could accept me for what I was back then:
A child; mature, but foolish; old yet still too young
Who failed to realize your conditional love, to which I desperately clung
Too many tears and sighs, to little time to dwell
And graciously those hard lessons have led me to prevail
My mission is complete, I've found the answers sought
Today I'm wise, my eyes are open, I've learned the lessons taught